I had heard about reverse culture shock but I didn’t think too much about it as we landed at Manchester Airport in May. I was anticipating a new challenge to start our lives in my home country. I wasn’t overly sad to leave Japan or overly happy that I was back on British soil. Of course it was super to see my family again and sit on the sofa in my old home, drinking tea and watching TV with my parents.
Soon after arriving we started to make our imprints in the British system. We tried to open a bank account for my husband. It seemed to take forever. We also applied for Child Benefit and Child Tax credits as well as my husband’s National Insurance number. Suddenly there was form filling, telephone calls and visits to tax offices and job centres. As recent news reports confirm, the slow and inefficient service provided by the HMRC (Her Majesty’s Revenue and Customs) was a real rude-awakening for us.When asked to do duplicate paperwork, send off passports that were then untraceable for two weeks, followed by being put on hold on 0845 numbers with very high rates, our tempers were frayed to say the least.
I felt a lot of anger dealing with all this. Already my husband is pretty negative about the UK work-ethic.This was not what I had promised my family when we planned to move to the UK. I imagined a better family life, with more leisure time spent enjoying lovely summer evenings. A bit too idyllic a dream on hindsight, as neither of us can enjoy much leisure time in the evening looking after two little kids! British friends advised us to wait and be patient, things will get done, people are busy. And slowly things are moving for us. Our passports have been returned, Child Benefit has been approved and deposited in our bank, my husband has his National Insurance number. The slowness of bureaucracy is something we have to deal with.
It’s still early days and I’m sure more hurdles as well as idyllic summer nights(!) will be waiting for us down the road. It’s a challenge, and that’s part of what I came home for. Seeing my parents play with their grandchildren makes me smile and realize yes this is the main reason why I am back home.
Showing posts with label Japanese husband. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Japanese husband. Show all posts
Saturday, 13 August 2011
Friday, 24 June 2011
Getting ready for work and moving house 仕事の準備と引っ越し
reイギリスに引っ越して一か月以上たちました。
仕事決まりました。9月から小学校で、アシスタント教師になります。
そして Sowerby Bridge と言う町に、引っ越しは後ちょっとで決まりそうです。(West Yorkshire のHebden Bridge と Halifaxの間です）
することが沢山で、毎日かなり忙しいけど楽しい。
仕事は子供と一緒に働くなら、ＣＲＢチェックが必要。（Criminal Records Bureau Check） このチェックは自分のcriminal record があるかどうかを検討します。ずっと日本に住んでいましたなのに、日本の警察に自分 のPolice Clearance Certificate を頼みにしないといけないです。
そのために、ランカシャー本部の警察官まで行って、申し込み書に指をプリントして、次の日に、ロンドンにある日本の大使館まで持って行きました。
これから二か月かかりそうだ。
気づいたこと：
日本の早いと丁寧のサービスはすごい。大使館に入ってから自分の種類と主人の免許の切り替えの種類を出して、15分くらいかかりました。（早） （笑）
ところで主人のイギリス銀行口座を開くまでは一か月くらいかかりました。（遅） （怒）
It's been more than a month since we moved to the UK.
I've got a job as an assistant teacher in a primary school from September. It's just a year contract so I can get some U.K. classroom experience. I'm thinking of going to university again to train to be a U.K. teacher next year.
We are also nearly ready to move to a place called Sowerby Bridge. It's near Halifax in West Yorkshire. I can't believe how busy every day is, but it's fun and challenging.
As my new job is working with children, I need to get a CRB (Criminal Records Bureau) check. I need to prove I'm not a criminal so I can work with children. As I've been living in Japan, I need to ask the Japanese police for a Police Clearance Certificate.
So I had to get an application form from the Japanese Embassy.
Then I had to make a reservation at the Police HQ in Lancashire to have my fingerprints done.
Then I took my fingerprints in person with my passport to the Japanese Embassy.
Next I have to wait two months for it all to be checked....
London was really rainy. I spent two hours there....
I realized.....
The service in the Japanese embassy was super. I submitted my application and my husband's translation documents all within 15 minutes.
Lloyds TSB took more than a month for to open my husband's bank account here (!!)
仕事決まりました。9月から小学校で、アシスタント教師になります。
そして Sowerby Bridge と言う町に、引っ越しは後ちょっとで決まりそうです。(West Yorkshire のHebden Bridge と Halifaxの間です）
することが沢山で、毎日かなり忙しいけど楽しい。
仕事は子供と一緒に働くなら、ＣＲＢチェックが必要。（Criminal Records Bureau Check） このチェックは自分のcriminal record があるかどうかを検討します。ずっと日本に住んでいましたなのに、日本の警察に自分 のPolice Clearance Certificate を頼みにしないといけないです。
そのために、ランカシャー本部の警察官まで行って、申し込み書に指をプリントして、次の日に、ロンドンにある日本の大使館まで持って行きました。
これから二か月かかりそうだ。
気づいたこと：
日本の早いと丁寧のサービスはすごい。大使館に入ってから自分の種類と主人の免許の切り替えの種類を出して、15分くらいかかりました。（早） （笑）
ところで主人のイギリス銀行口座を開くまでは一か月くらいかかりました。（遅） （怒）
It's been more than a month since we moved to the UK.
I've got a job as an assistant teacher in a primary school from September. It's just a year contract so I can get some U.K. classroom experience. I'm thinking of going to university again to train to be a U.K. teacher next year.
We are also nearly ready to move to a place called Sowerby Bridge. It's near Halifax in West Yorkshire. I can't believe how busy every day is, but it's fun and challenging.
As my new job is working with children, I need to get a CRB (Criminal Records Bureau) check. I need to prove I'm not a criminal so I can work with children. As I've been living in Japan, I need to ask the Japanese police for a Police Clearance Certificate.
So I had to get an application form from the Japanese Embassy.
Then I had to make a reservation at the Police HQ in Lancashire to have my fingerprints done.
Then I took my fingerprints in person with my passport to the Japanese Embassy.
Next I have to wait two months for it all to be checked....
London was really rainy. I spent two hours there....
I realized.....
The service in the Japanese embassy was super. I submitted my application and my husband's translation documents all within 15 minutes.
Lloyds TSB took more than a month for to open my husband's bank account here (!!)
Saturday, 23 April 2011
国際結婚 イギリス人妻と日本の主人
子供について書いていますが、
これから国際結婚についてもちょっと書きます。
日本の文化に結構慣れて来ましたかな。だから私達の結婚は他人と同じように普通だと思っていますが、たまに、あっ、これ違うなと思う時もあります。一つ違うのは：我慢。
我慢を英語に訳すと、be patient か to put up with something, と思います。毎日聴く事ありますよね。だけど、英語にはこの言葉、そんなに使わないと思います。"我慢"は人のために自分のしたい事か言いたい事を隠すか遠慮するかな。
主人は笑いながら、あなたには我慢できませんとよく言われる。我慢はいい意味と悪い意味両方あると思います。他人の気持ちを優先するのはすばらしい事だけど自分の気持ちを無視する場合はストレスを溜まるだけと思います。
だけど、イギリス人は一つの我慢を知っています。クリスマス・プレゼントをクリスマス・デイの前に絶対開けません。プレゼントは十二月ずっとクリスマス・ツリーの下に置いてありますけど、皆開けません。誕生日プレゼントも同じように、その日になると、プレゼントを開けます。それはイギリス人の一つの我慢。
その我慢私の主人はできません：）
I've often been writing about my bilingual kids and teaching English in this blog, and so I thought I'd have a go at writing about our cross cultural marriage.
I've become quite used to life in Japan so I don't often think that our marriage is so different to any others. There are times though when we think, oh yes that's certainly different. One of these differences I often come across is the Japanese "gaman" spirit.
Translating "gaman" into English is hard. I'd say it means to be patient or to put up with something. We often here it mentioned everyday. However, I think we don't often use those phrases as much in English. "Gaman" includes hiding or putting off saying or doing something you want to do, often for the good of others.
My husband often jokingly says, You can't be patient, you can't do "gaman". I think there are good and bad sides to gaman. Considering others' needs first before your own is very admirable but ignoring your own needs is just too stressful.
There is one thing British people are good at being patient for: we always wait to open our Christmas presents until Christmas Day. It's one of the few times I can think of when we are good at being patient. The presents are under the tree during December but we don't open them. The same goes for our birthday presents, we only open them on the day. That is one example I know of British "gaman".
Oh and my husband is not good at that type of "gaman"!!
これから国際結婚についてもちょっと書きます。
日本の文化に結構慣れて来ましたかな。だから私達の結婚は他人と同じように普通だと思っていますが、たまに、あっ、これ違うなと思う時もあります。一つ違うのは：我慢。
我慢を英語に訳すと、be patient か to put up with something, と思います。毎日聴く事ありますよね。だけど、英語にはこの言葉、そんなに使わないと思います。"我慢"は人のために自分のしたい事か言いたい事を隠すか遠慮するかな。
主人は笑いながら、あなたには我慢できませんとよく言われる。我慢はいい意味と悪い意味両方あると思います。他人の気持ちを優先するのはすばらしい事だけど自分の気持ちを無視する場合はストレスを溜まるだけと思います。
だけど、イギリス人は一つの我慢を知っています。クリスマス・プレゼントをクリスマス・デイの前に絶対開けません。プレゼントは十二月ずっとクリスマス・ツリーの下に置いてありますけど、皆開けません。誕生日プレゼントも同じように、その日になると、プレゼントを開けます。それはイギリス人の一つの我慢。
その我慢私の主人はできません：）
I've often been writing about my bilingual kids and teaching English in this blog, and so I thought I'd have a go at writing about our cross cultural marriage.
I've become quite used to life in Japan so I don't often think that our marriage is so different to any others. There are times though when we think, oh yes that's certainly different. One of these differences I often come across is the Japanese "gaman" spirit.
Translating "gaman" into English is hard. I'd say it means to be patient or to put up with something. We often here it mentioned everyday. However, I think we don't often use those phrases as much in English. "Gaman" includes hiding or putting off saying or doing something you want to do, often for the good of others.
My husband often jokingly says, You can't be patient, you can't do "gaman". I think there are good and bad sides to gaman. Considering others' needs first before your own is very admirable but ignoring your own needs is just too stressful.
There is one thing British people are good at being patient for: we always wait to open our Christmas presents until Christmas Day. It's one of the few times I can think of when we are good at being patient. The presents are under the tree during December but we don't open them. The same goes for our birthday presents, we only open them on the day. That is one example I know of British "gaman".
Oh and my husband is not good at that type of "gaman"!!
Thursday, 3 March 2011
Girls' Day and a big day for us!!
Today is Girls' Day. In Japan, many mothers get out their emperor and empress doll sets and display them in their houses. The expensive ones can include the whole royal entourage of servants musicians cooks and the like. They are placed on a staircase with the happy couple at the top. We just have a china set of the emperor and empress. Anyway it's a day when girls are celebrated and mothers wish for a the safety of their children. Dolls have to be put back after the 4th or it means a late marriage for their daughters! We ate a lovely pink sponge cake decorated with the emperor and empress for dessert today.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Hinamatsuri
And for our family, this day is the day my husband submitted his papers for his U.K. spouse visa application. Now we have to wait for anything between 3 weeks and 2 months to hear a reply. Keep your fingers crossed for us!
Check out his diary in Japanese at:
http://noriintheuk.blogspot.com/
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Hinamatsuri
And for our family, this day is the day my husband submitted his papers for his U.K. spouse visa application. Now we have to wait for anything between 3 weeks and 2 months to hear a reply. Keep your fingers crossed for us!
Check out his diary in Japanese at:
http://noriintheuk.blogspot.com/
Thursday, 24 February 2011
UK Visa Application
We were very excited for this day. My husband has spent more than two months collecting paperwork for his visa application for the U.K. Today was the day to submit them to an application office in Shimbashi, Tokyo.
However....
I was not too surprised when he called quite quickly after his appointment time to say there had been a few problems. A missing paper, a wrongly-colored background of his ID photo and an application form that was a few weeks out of date.
So near yet so far!!
He hopes to apply again next week.
Fingers crossed all goes well next time!!
Have a look at his blog for those interested in visa applications to the U.K.
http://noriintheuk.blogspot.com/
However....
I was not too surprised when he called quite quickly after his appointment time to say there had been a few problems. A missing paper, a wrongly-colored background of his ID photo and an application form that was a few weeks out of date.
So near yet so far!!
He hopes to apply again next week.
Fingers crossed all goes well next time!!
Have a look at his blog for those interested in visa applications to the U.K.
http://noriintheuk.blogspot.com/
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)